Episode 16 - Live At The London Agriculture Festival
Josie Long, Mike Wozniak, Tom Crowley and Martin Austwick join in for this month’s episode, which was recorded live in front of an audience at the London Agriculture Festival. Sponsor Mitchell's - Steel Hoof Deluxe Mitchell's Europe Lyrics Leave the Door Ajar I'm not gonna mince my words Set the onion free His only crime is passion For delicious British beef and dairy He's in a pickle, there's so much at stake So warden let me say There's a pint of semi skimmed for you If you look the other way So jailer, jailer, jailer Won't you leave the door ajar Laughter used to echo Around the British Beef Council Dinner and Barn Dance But now this onion just brings us tears Surely he's got a chance? He's a man of many layers And he's probably not to blame For all the crimes his lawyers Would prefer me not to name So jailer, jailer, jailer Won't you leave the door ajar Spoken Hello, Les Cheese here ''Legend of traditional, old fashioned, honest, wholesome and sometimes blue entertainment ''Most well known for my part in popular double act Cheese and Onion ''In recent years, the actor's come in from quite a bit of stick from so called "modern comedians" with their political correctness and inability to tap dance ''What they fail to appreciate is that what me and Sid did with Cheese and Onion was actually very clever, and operated on a number of levels ''It's like Pixar, there's something for the adults and something for the kiddies ''So the adults can enjoy the searing sexual innuendo while the kiddies simply enjoy a charming song about a farmer washing a sausage in a stream ''As you may note, Sid, my double act partner, has now been in prison in Turkey for 2 years. ''In order to get Sid out I started a Kickstarter ''Have you heard about these? It's brilliant. ''Basically you have any old idea and then people give you money and then in return you promise them rewards which are basically like any old shit, which they'll never end up getting anyway ''So please, donate today ''All donations over £5 will receive a signed photo of me meeting Princess Margaret ''Donate over £10 and i'll throw in a DVD of my ill fated collaboration with the English National Opera ''This money will be used to bribe Turkish officials and prison guards, and any money we don't get round to using will go towards funding my crippling vets bills, and anything after that will go to the Beafron National Front. ''Please give today ''And jailor, please leave the door ajar So jailer, jailer, jailer Won't you leave the door ajar Won't you leave the door ajar Won't you leave the door ajar For Sid Onion please Characters Host Julie from Bristol (letter) Francis in Kent (letter) Quentin from Surrey (letter) Jim Crayfish Glen Onion Les Cheese Jenny Baulder MBE Actors Benjamin Partridge Mike Wozniak Josie Long Martin Austwick Tom Crowley Category:Liveshow Category:Song